January 22, 2014: A Day to Remember

the byas life, james byas, how to cope with losing a parent, how to cope with losing a loved one

Four years ago… Four freaking years ago… It all went down. A chapter ended and a new chapter began.

I can’t believe it’s been a long four years already. In some aspects it seems like yesterday while other times it feels like an entirety.

Four years ago today I lost someone important to me. I lost someone who I was very close with. When you are in your early 20’s you don’t think about your parents passing away. You don’t think about anyone really dying for that matter. You are young. You are full of life. You sometimes feel invincible.

I, too thought this until I heard the ICU doctor basically tell my family that there was nothing more than can do for my dad.


It can’t be my dad. It can’t be the one who taught me how to play video games. The one who use to play board games with me every weekend. The one who ultimately made me feel like I mattered in the world.


No, it can’t be.

 

Sadly, yes it was. It was his time to go. It was my time to be selfless. It was my time to tell my dad it’s okay to go. It’s okay to leave. Yes, I may need you here, but you did your job. You raised my sisters and I. You completed your job. That it’s the end of the mission, Mr. Byas that I got it from here.

Over the past four years, I’ve learned a lot about myself. I learned that I am much more like my dad than I once thought. Of course, I acquired his good sense of humor, but I also have a lot of his quirks too.

I’ve also learned that I there will be days that I won’t be my day and I’ll break down and cry because I miss him. I miss his talks. I miss his laugh. I miss his jokes. I just miss him deeply on some days. But on the other hand, I have days where life is good. I can think about him and he’s just happy that I am doing well.

Losing a parent was hard. It was harder than losing my sister. It had to be one of the most saddest times of my life, but at the end of it all it made me a stronger person.

Amanda is a Florida raised, theme park junkie, furmom extraordinaire. She loves a good adventure with a side of food. You can find her planning her next trip or vegging on the couch with her sidekick (and baby), Bella!

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